We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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