you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
