Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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