um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
