Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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