It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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