i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize