I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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