So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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