dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
