fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
