her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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