am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
