i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
