Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
