K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
