my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
