you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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