Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
