Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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