We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
