so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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