Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize