We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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