am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize