i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you never un-have a 4some
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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