I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
