David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize