good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
