Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
