Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
