No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
