Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
