Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They took my balls.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
