what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
