I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize