Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
