I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i out mim tonsoeep
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