Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
