i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
