Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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