is your mom at the bar?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
