i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn victory sex feels great
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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