i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
