My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
