We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
