He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
