Kiss
Puke
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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