is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm passing your future prison.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize