you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I just put wine in my tea
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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