If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am naked and annoyed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
