Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
