i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
