It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
