Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
