I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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