dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
