From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
