they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
