i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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