The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
