you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
only you would photoshop your dick
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
