I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
